1 day agoInfrastructureThe effects of ‘parentification’ in later life Governments often talk about ‘necessary investment in infrastructure’. However, the rewards of such investment are rarely experienced in the short term. This often results in stalled or deferred projects, whilst roads crumble and rail networks creak under the pressure! Infrastructure is important. It…Children2 min read
6 days agoBeing CoolHow learning to forge our own sense of self can improve our relationships In a wonderful interview with Eurovision hero Sam Ryder , one stand out insight (amongst many), reads ‘Cool is something that is imposed on people by someone else whose journey it isn’t.’ Wow! …Self Love2 min read
May 12FactsHow recognising that our feelings aren’t facts can improve our relationships Often, when we feel under pressure, we respond by restricting our ‘state space’. In other words, we try to control things…to minimise the inputs and outputs in our lives. …Relationships2 min read
May 5GhostsA personal take on dissociation and how to identify it in ourselves and others Like many children, I used to believe in ghosts. As a 9 year old, I had what I believed to be a really ‘neat’ explanation of why. I didn’t believe in the notion of the white…Mental Health2 min read
Apr 22ExperimentsHow experimenting in relationships can be more beneficial than goal setting We often talk about goals in both coaching and therapy. I think it’s great if clients can articulate ‘what good looks like’ for them. In addition, ‘achievable goal setting’ can be really effective in countering depression. …Relationships2 min read
Apr 15Defences — part 2How learning about our defences can improve our relationships When our defences are invoked, we are activating different ‘parts’. These ‘parts’ reflect our past selves. For example, if at 20 we faced unwanted sexual advances from a friend; then this ‘part’ might get triggered when we feel uncomfortable in the…Relationships3 min read
Apr 4Defences — part 1How learning about our defences can improve our relationships We all need to defend ourselves in times of danger. Our responses to threat include: fight, flight, freeze and flop. Much of the animal kingdom shares this list of threat responses. …Relationships2 min read
Mar 24BlueprintsHow understanding our ‘blueprints’ can improve our relationships n couples therapy, there is a concept called ‘quadruple empathy’. This means that the therapist strives to have empathy for each person, their relationship and finally; the therapeutic relationship. …Relationships2 min read
Mar 11HungerHow naming our hunger can improve our relationships Most of us are familiar with the concept of ‘comfort eating’. It’s a way of dampening down strong emotions. A container, a distraction, a salve. Comfort or ‘emotional’ eating is a coping mechanism for psychological hunger. The founder of Transactional Analysis Eric…Wellness2 min read
Mar 8ContainersHow identifying ‘healthy containers’ for our emotions can improve our relationships We can all get overwhelmed by emotion. We can all get triggered by external events — whether it’s the war in Ukraine or an altercation at the local shop. …Wellbeing2 min read
